My weekend has legitimately sucked. I claimed that I would turn over a new leaf and be optimistic on this blog (it was previously my complain forum). This will be my first test. God has put me in yet another personal fire. After the breakup, I learned that I don't have too many friends that are always there. I have made an intentional effort to hold onto those I do have, which takes alot of energy (especially when you are the only one pursuing the friendship). However, I don't have a group, a niche, or even a place. I am simply there. Also, I visited Mississippi College this weekend. I hoped I would fall in love with it and all my question marks surrounding this decision would be dispelled. But it wasn't that easy. It was abundantly clear throughout the weekend that Mississippi college is not the place for me; causing more question marks to appear and causing me to have a tearful prayer session with Our Lord asking "Why in the world do none of the colleges stick out to me? What is the purpose of my indecisiveness?" This doubtful prayer led me to cry more than I should (praise the Lord for whoever invented kleenex). And this crying led to irritated skin around my eyes which is now turning red and puffy (no, you will not see this as an upcoming beauty trend in your magazine because it is anything but beautiful). And to compound this weekend, My acne, which has been a sensitive topic for a while now, is beginning to come back in bigger waves than it started in. So not only am I verging on helpless, I can't even be a pretty helpless woman! Come on, I gotta have something here! I feel like one of those FFK'S (former fat kids) that lost a bunch of weight and is beginning to pack on the pounds again. No matter how much they work out, it's comin back with a vengence!
I know the typical "God has a plan and it will all work out" statement. I believe that God is sovereign and yes, somehow it will workout but He sure does have a huge load to work with. If God helps me survive this fire, It will be nothing short of a miracle. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that fire gets rid of blemishes on the skin as well as impurities in the heart. Girl, I'm gonna buy me some of that!
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girl, I know that feeling all too well. just keep praying and I will pray for you too (: I love you. And you are so beautiful, splotchy eyes and all (: Never fear, because once you find the right college, you will know, and there will be no more questions in your heart.
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