Thou shalt not act like a horse

I respect my sunday school teacher. I don't like to talk about politics or philosophy because admittedly, I learned to debate well. When such topics are brought up, I often get rolled eyes from the majority of my peers for even caring about those topics, much less wanting to "discuss" them both objectively and subjectively. However, because I respect him, I trust him and because I trust him, we began down this topic sunday morning before sunday school.


He is taking a Biblical Worldview class (http://cathyduffyreviews.com/worldview/worldview-index.htm) that my father is teaching. I took this class last year.


It changes you, whether it is a curse or blessing, I have not yet given a verdict.


My teacher summarized the experience quite well, "I feel like the blinders that every christian has on have been removed and to be honest, it's scary. It shows how everything is connected and intertwined, but also how christians have failed to follow Christ's example in living a unified, connected life."

(looks foolish, doesn't it?)

Whether you are atheist, christian, deist, buddhist, etc, the religion you choose truly effects everything. In the modern day, we don't connect our religious affiliation with our political views or our psychological beliefs. We tend to compartmentalize. When at church, rarely is that seen as affiliated with what we accept as true in the classroom. My teacher was right, it is scary to remove the blinders or dividers that separate your church life, work life, home life, sports life, thought life, school life, social life, moral life, political life, etc. In one swoop, there now exists a challenge of maintaining consistency and to add to the pressure, You are held accountable to an omnipotent God. He is right; it is scary to take the blinders off, but you look pretty foolish wearing them.

Take them off. I double dog dare you.

Ohh Tim-bo

Dear Tim McGraw,

I'm not a huge country music fan, yet I was recently kidnapped, strapped down, and forced to listen to country music by these horrible people. Okay, so maybe they were my friends and I didn't mind the kidnapping because they took me to the beach, but country?! really?

I was brainwashed. Having heard your song "Do you want fries with that?" I feel as though we are best friends. You know, BFF'S with hearts and smiley faces all around them? That's us. The chorus was especially catchy:

"Well you took my wife
And you took my kids
And you took that life
That I used to live
My pride, the pool, the boat, my tools, my dreams, the dog, the cat
Yeah I think that's just about everything
Oh I almost forgot
Do you want fries with that?"

I can sympathize you, buddy boy. I have felt like certain people have taken alot from me too. But Tim, my best friend forever, I promise you that it all turns out okay. Granted, I haven't been cheated on or stripped of my possessions, but I can still relate. Buddy, the moral of the story is if someone makes herself available to be taken, she probably isn't worth a spot in your life anyways.

But then again, BFF, I am biased. I say these things as I sit on the most beautiful beach with my best friends who have never left.

With love,
Emily

p.s. which was worse to lose, the boat or the dog?

Floppy hats

I have always wanted to be the girl on the beach with a wide-rimmed, floppy hat on the beach. Not the prissy type who also sport oversized Gucci Sunglasses and Tee-shirts from Saks that costed more than a normal person's whole outfit.

No, not that kind.

I wanna be the natural kind who wears no makeup and quickly puts on baggy linen shorts. Completely el naturale :)

Yeah, that's my girl!

I'm going to the beach with two of my best girlfriends and I am going to be that girl because I can and I have always wanted to.

I've also always wanted to be the friend who constantly encourages. You know them, the friends that seem to say "me listening to/ affirming you is more important than me informing you about my life." I'm gonna be her too, but not just for a week. My friends deserve me to be her todos los dias (for those of you who did not take spanish.... "every day." but you probably deduced that!)

I've also wanted to be that girlfriend who always honors her boy. There are many who do. They focus on making their men look good. I'm gonna be her too. Ben deserves that.

Last, I've always wanted to be that daughter who is dedicated completely to her Heavenly Father. My loyalty sometimes wavers. My time is often limited. My ability is often incompetent. He deserves more.....My goodness, it's God!

And when all of these are mixed, I will be me. When I am me, I will be dedicated to others. Who are you?

(F)^3...Free French Fries

I would like to provide you with a rather humorous bedtime story....

Today at work (I work at an optical making eyeglasses for patients) I heard the following conversation, but first, I need to provide some characterization in an unconventional way.

Character #1- An optician who has had a long day yet still managed to put on a smile; protagonist.

Character #2- A woman who is dressed nicely with exceptionally (and unnaturally) smooth skin for her age; antagonist.

Here we go..are you tucked in?

Optician: Hi, Ma'am! How can I help you?

Woman: Well, I'm hoping to get some glasses with this prescription.

Optician: Alright! (takes prescription and looks at it) Now you know ma'am that this prescription is months old, so your eyes might have changed since then?

Woman: Oh yes, but anything will help!

- They both casually spend twenty minutes trying on frames and find a trendy Kate Spade priced at $215-

Optician: Well, now all I need is your insurance card to see what they'll cover for you.

Woman: I don't have insurance.

Optician: No medicare, blueview, or vsp? (the woman shakes her head) Well then the best discount I can give you is 20%. Will you be paying with a credit card?

Woman: (looks oddly at the optician) No.

Optician: oh so then cash or check?

Woman: Neither.

Optician: Well ma'am, how are you planning to pay for these glasses?

Woman: I'm not. I was under the impression that as of yesterday, I have free healthcare. So I won't be paying for these.

I will give you a moment to hide under your covers to either giggle at her insanity or roll your eyes at her..shall i say it?....ignorance.

For her age, though she tried to hide it with a face lift, she should have already found out that there is nothing that is truly free.

I just hope that Obama gives us all free french fries next.....but that wouldn't be very patriotic would it?

hmm.... Free Freedom Fries?! Yes, I would be content then!

Substitution

I vowed to never have a cheesy facebook status about how great my "boyfran" is, yet he needs some recognition after what he has done today.

Here's to you, Ben Nowak, for daring to come over after I have my wisdom teeth taken out.

Here's to you for bringing over chick flicks, knowing that that also entails you watching them.

Here's to you, Mr. Nowak, for poking fun at me in a caring way that makes me laugh.

Here's to you for taking me on my first walk outside all day while I was dizzy and moving in slow motion.

Here's to you for sitting on the couch even though you spent all day yesterday in the car.

Here's to you, sir, for calling me gorgeous even after you saw my chipmunk cheeks.

Here's to you for scratching my back for twenty minutes straight.


Sometimes I wonder what I did to catch your attention....But whatever it was, I am so glad I did! Thank you, Ben! You truly are the best :)

Why, Athleta, do you taunt me so?

It seems to me that everyone has a lifestyle they wish they could live. For some it's a wealthy lifestyle or a more glamorous lifestyle yet others would rather a more intellectual lifestyle. My ideal lifestyle is shown perfectly within the pages of a magazine called Athleta. The company is now owned by Gap and provides cute yoga tops, swimsuits made for athletic figures, and clothes that are leisurely and comfortable.

I can't tell you how much I would love to take that women's place; resting my arms on a hammock and sporting a worn out cowboy hat in the front yard (or would it be the back yard?) of my beach front bungalow.

What really gets me are the incredibly buff figures of these women who are not nineteen-year-old models. Now don't get me wrong, I am very proud of myself for consistently doing yoga and pilates in the mornings and working out in some form every night, yet they are so athletic for their age. Having done yoga in the morning by their crystal clear pools, they put on a sundress to get a chai tea latte with their friends before a ten mile hike.

Why don't they ever show them cleaning their pools? I mean, they all seem like the type of women who would refuse to pay someone to do something so simple. So, they must do it themselves.

That would make a more realistic magazine.

Maybe I am just odd, but I would so rather begin my mornings with this in my own private, outdoor room for yoga instead of going to school and learning about literature that honestly, I don't care for.


I wonder how long she holds this position every morning. Does her face turn really red like mine when I do a handstand for too long?


Just look at that! What woman her age has washboard abs and buff arms like hers? I wonder what she was paddling towards...

Perhaps she was going to pick up her kids from school on her surfboard instead of a stereotypical minivan.


Or maybe she is fishing to provide dinner for her family instead of going to Kroger?


I prefer the story that she is in the process of fixing her boat herself so she improvises with her husband's surfboard and a paddle. Now that is intense....

And these women rarely wear a drop of makeup. They daily sport a natural glow leftover from their 8 mile run that morning on the beach as the sun rose.

If only.......


I would much rather life that life than the life of a student. But I suppose I don't have an option right now. I will continue on with my yoga moves, pilates videos, treadmill runs, and weights........for now!

confusion during second period

I view man as inherently good. Only some are malicious and the behavior derives from past experiences (never from dna)

I view God as compassionate, especially to those who mess up.

There is a gap. What about good people who rarely mess up? Do they automatically have no need for mercy?

I know humanism is wrong. We cannot justify ourselves. But in order to be right, I must begin to realize that humans are inherently bad. That is unsettling. I know it is true. I don’t want to believe it is true. I want to give the benefit of the doubt.

How unsettling.

If we are worse than I believe, that demands God be more that I believe.

That means I need his mercy all the time. That means mother Teresa couldn’t live without his mercy just like Hitler.

That equalizes us. Sounds similar to communism. Takes away any private hope.

Or does it? Maybe it’s not an equalizer. Maybe it’s just a common denominator.

I’m confused and uncomfortable.

So if God is more, how much more?

In younglife, they treat people as inherently good as well. How are they not unsettled by this contradiction? Maybe, I’m just sick to my stomach and this topic is not to blame.

Nope, I feel fine.

I’m laughing. Mrs. Mills sees me laughing. I need to put on a straight face.

I can’t.

I wonder what other people’s motives are? I seem to always assume they mean well. Maybe I shouldn’t have based my beliefs on my assumptions. That’s horrible logic. Mrs. Clark would be ashamed.

But if I thought the motives were bad I would be assuming too.

That was a huge circle. I’m dizzy. But not sick…..blast it. That would be an easy explanation for this.

So the gap came because I assumed too much. Assuming is a habit. A habit can be broken in thirty days. That doesn’t sound very long. I can fix this and go on as a Christian with gapless theology.

Wait, that’s humanism too. I can’t fix this. Because I am human. And we are inherently rebellious. I can’t justify myself.

Blast it. God help me.

Bathroom Talk

Recently, I have experienced some
interesting conversations in a setting of toilet paper, mirrors, and sinks.

First, I found myself washing my hands in my school's newly renovated lobby bathroom. I was applying C.O. Bigelow lip gloss when an old friend came in. We have not talked in months because of previous conflicts and we have always seen each other in a large group setting since. But (no pun intended), we were surrounded only by metal stalls and cheap paper towels and in this odd setting, we reconciled. Before I pulled the large bathroom door open, she said "That lip gloss looks great on you, by the way." It tasted as sweet as the friendship did. Yet the after taste of the reconciled friendship lasted longer. (I have considered contacting C.O. Bigelow suggesting the taste last longer..tehe)

Second, Ben and I ate at an Italian restaurant named Cucci's on our way back from skiing. Having played Hangman while waiting and eaten too much of the most delicious hawaiian pizza of my life, I juggled take out boxes while Ben went to the bathroom. Five minutes later, he came out grinning. Apparently, he was attempting to volumize his hat hair when another man came in and asked, "You got a hot date?" Caught off guard, Ben said "uhh kinda." The man said in an insightful lisp "Well you look great." I think Ben was more scared than flattered. yet we laughed the whole way home about it.

Third, I was in my church's bathroom, decorated with fake flowers, framed inspirational quotes, and crosses hung on the walls. My wet hair was being difficult while I was trying to rebraid it. Enter Mrs. McKinney, a sweet woman I taught vacation bible school with years ago. She inquired about college and what I was planning on studying. Then she said,"I would encourage you to pursue teaching. Your passion for those kids was so natural and we need teachers like you who care." I thanked her humbly then left feeling affirmed and smiling.

I wonder what other conversations are heard by bathroom stalls and soap dispensers.

I suppose it depends on the dream......

A Dream Deferred

By Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

"He is Good...So Good"

Today, I heard Carrie Underwood's new song "Mama's song." She continually says "He[god] is good. So Good." And he truly is. Many of my blogs are about the tragedies in life- people hurting, betraying each other, and being inconsiderate. Yet, as Valentine's day approaches, it is evident that God has taken care of us by teaching us to love.

I encourage you to read the common 1 corinthians 13 passage with different people in mind. Think of specific friends and specific enemies. Think even of specific acquaintances.

I make myself the example. When reading it with a fellow art student in mind, I realized I am often selfish; talking only about my project and rarely asking about her. When thinking about my fellow anatomy students, I am not always kind. When considering a girl in my english class, with whom I often disagree, I am often rude.

Though I probably won't be getting chocolates or roses from a love interest, I am going to have a fabulous valentine's day because I will love the same way God has loved me. Loved all of us. He is Good. So Good.


Happy Valentine's day!

There will be a day.....

I just drove for fifteen minutes in the rain back from dance. My body heat caused the car to fog up and I wasn't even able to see the lines on the road beforehand anyways. To compound the difficulty, I was crying.

Dance Class was different tonight. The theory stands that rainy weather crawls under your skin and brings out hurt that you thought was taken care of. In a class of 19 girls, there are all different stereotypes, yet all of us were vulnerable tonight. There are girls who have drama in their life and would rather spend time healing their wounds than dance. There are girls who are typically good dancers yet feel a new pressure to improve and can't. There are even girls who seem to have it all together but are upset because their beautiful locks got wet walking into the dance studio. There are girls who are injured and sit in the corner watching and hurting because they want nothing more to participate. There are also girls who feel unnoticed despite constant effort and work in class. Nevertheless, we were all there doing the same stretches, listening to the same songs, and feeling the same way (despite differences in the origin of such feelings).

Everyone's hurt seemed to make a fog in the room. It was ethereal. I thought I was alone, but the worst part is that I knew I wasn't. I knew I wasn't the only one with such a burden. After class, I sat with a friend as she shared some of her hurts and frustrations recently. Her gorgeous eyes glossed over for an instant than she shook her head quickly and her front came back up. Indeed, I wasn't alone. However, this time, it wasn't a comfort, but a tragedy.

I cried my way home because I realized that's how so many gatherings are. That's how so many humans feel. Yet, We hide it.

There was no hiding it at Dance. The rain brought all walls down; all hurt revealed. It was overwhelming so I cried.

I can't imagine seeing the hurt in Haiti. All walls down. All hurt revealed. How overwhelming....